In non-baby specific news, I lost my job yesterday. On the most basic level, it sucks - we aren't independently wealthy so we need both incomes to pay the bills. On a truer level to my heart: I am relieved. I have been really unhappy and stressed at my job for the past 6 months, and I felt freer and lighter yesterday than I have in a long time. I didn't even cry - which for me is really saying something. I know that I will find another job soon; I am smart and have a great background of experience. I see this as a time to reinvent what I want my working life to be like, and I'm embracing the door that has been opened for me.
OK, back to what we're all here for. Project Baby. It's Friday. We "baby danced" as instructed yesterday morning ... 5am was really early for that kind of exercise. Nothing like setting an alarm for sex! So today now starts Luteal Phase Support.
 |
| Google definition from www.webmd.com |
 |
| Image from www.babymed.com |
As stated above, the luteal phase is the final stage in the menstrual cycle. It's after ovulation and when the egg would be fertilized and looking to implant in the uterine lining. It's crucial for pregnancy support to have progesterone be at the right level to support implantation. So, to ensure I have the hormones I need to, I have to supplement with progesterone vaginal suppositories. You read that correct - I need to stick some pills up in my nethers for the next two weeks.
Since we've been through this process before, this isn't new and I knew it was coming. However, that doesn't make it any more exciting. I have to insert the pills twice daily. They are a gel tablet consistency, and the outer casing dissolves. Meaning: I'm oozing the contents that don't get absorbed. Lovely, right?
From my experience the pills come in two colors: bright, neon yellow or a rusty pink. Neither are natural, normal colors for secretions so both are slightly alarming at first. This time I got the rusty pink ones - time to pad up.
First dose is in, and every 12 hours for the next 12 days you'll find me in the bathroom. This is the last 'active' part of this first cycle; the last 24 (now 23) actions I can execute that give me a sense of control over this process. That control is just an illusion, I know - our fate is in God's hands now and whatever is meant to happen will happen.
So, again, I ask: Jesus, take the wheel. I want to enjoy the scenery on this trip, so it's time for you steer this ship.
xoxo
In a state with no required fertility coverage it takes a village to get it done - if you'd like to donate here's the link: https://www.gofundme.com/projectbabyc
No comments:
Post a Comment