The Bachelor - ep 8 & 9

Oy.  What a week!  Sorry for the silence last week, I unexpectedly had surgery on Tuesday and was out of commission for 5 days.  I did have time to catch up on last week's episode, though, while on bed rest.  Hometowns.  What a mess. 


1) Caila smiled her way through the week (again - her cheek muscles have got to be tired by now)
2) Baby Voice Amanda's kids had a meltdown that all but sealed her fate as the reject du jour
3) Lauren had wine stained teeth again (maybe stay away from the reds for a bit, eh?)
4) JoJo's brothers are Grade A Douches.  What assholes!!!  And her mom's plastic surgery was distracting to look at. 


In the end, Amanda was sent packing.  Sorry not sorry - one more day of the voice and I would throw her off a cliff.


That's the most I can muster for last week - let's move on to this week!!


Fantasy Island
The Fab Four head to Jamaica, mon for some R&R and whoopee.  The producers must not have checked the weather before booking, it looked abysmal.  Cloudy, windy, rainy.  Not exactly a tropical paradise.


Date #1: Caila
Talk about AWKWARD.  Ben picks her up and throws her on a makeshift raft with Tom Sawyer to paddle down some swamp.  They literally said no words to each other the entire ride - here we see them riding:

Silence is golden, amirite?

 

Still riding ...

Could the gondolier at least sing a song or something?

And riding, and not talking, some more:

Did the producers make sure their mics were on?

They go to dinner, Caila professes her love for him, and he just nods his head and musters a half-assed smile.  They go to the fantasy suite as fireworks explode outside their door.  Good thing they weren't planning on getting much sleep!


Date #2: Lauren
All aboard to turtle island! 

Ben and Lauren got to assist with the release of hatchlings which warmed my cold, bitter heart to the core. 

And I quite literally teared up watching them all grunt across the sand toward the open water, where they'll hopefully be safe and live long lives!

It's a truly beautiful thing ... *sniff*

They have dinner, Lauren drops the L bomb too -- and in a surprising, rule-breaking, turn of events Benji says is back!!!  WHAT?!  It was the most real moment I think I've ever seen on the show, and was really sweet.  They grabbed the fantasy suite card and made a run for it.


Date #3: JoJo
One if by land, two if by sea.  Production mixed things up a little and sent them on their date in a helicopter instead of by boat.  Good call. 

They land at a pretty waterfall, swim, and *SURPRISE!* JoJo is in love too.  In an actual surprise, Ben reciprocates again.  Her reaction was so cute -- shocked and surprised with a "Are you allowed to say that?" thrown in.  Dinner and private room await.


Next day Ben is chilling at his suite trying to figure out what the actual F he's going to do.  He really likes Caila, but he has said he loves the other 2.  Just as he's pondering his dilemma smiling Caila shows up to surprise him!

No time like the present to drop the news that she's not The One and send her home.  Lots of tears, lots of hugs, and yet she still looked like she was smiling.  What emotion are you feeling??  I can't tell!! 


Rose Ceremony
Anticlimactic but here are the Final Two:

 They both get the feeling Ben's professed his love for the other too, so the finale should be interesting.  They offer up toasts to love, and it felt like "Bridesmaids" where they uncomfortably try to one-up each other.  It all ended with this gem:

Cheers, bitch

That about sums it all up!  Next week we have the "Women Tell All" (hands down my favorite episode each season!!) and then in 2 weeks we have the Finale.  I can't wait!!


For the record, I'm team JoJo all the way.  See you next time!