7/14/15: The Bachelorette - wk 9

Is anyone else still thrown off by the change in event sequence on the show?  And why are the "hometowns" be held in Utah?  That's not a hometown date that's another destination date - and an expensive one at that.  Flying 15 people in from Nick's family and then another half dozen from Shawn's (except his mom - did anyone catch why she couldn't be there but his aunt could??)  So many questions, so little time!

Let's get to the good stuff!

If you remember from last week we already had the Fantasy Suite date with Nick - it was magical, they "talked" all night (to be fair, I suppose there were some words involved), and it was wonderful.  Now it's time for Ben Brady's date. 

The horse whisperer he is not - here's a tip: stop talking to the animals and start talking to your "girlfriend".  They rode horses, fed some donkeys, fed some sheep, then had dinner at a castle.  That was the best part, aside from the dull company.  They talked, and then mosied upstairs for some alone time.  I hate the cheesey camera shot of Kaitlyn putting the "Do Not Disturb" sign on the doorknob - we all know what's going to happen, this ain't our first rodeo.

In the morning we catch up to them embracing in front of the window with the lovey-dovey editing haze around them.  I'm not kidding, that had to cost a pretty penny:

He then left with his backpack (I've never seen anyone else leave with an overnight bag in tow - is he the only one to have thought of this?  Smart - you have your change of clothes, clean undies, and a toothbrush.  All necessary for the Fantasy Suite)

On to Shawn's overnight date!  They go golfing and both actually do pretty well - this is one of the most "regular" dates I've seen yet and is a nice change.  Well, until Kaitlyn decides Gosling needs to change out of his clothes for the last hole.  Resurrecting Jillian's black box one more time:

She passed it off as playing Truth or Dare but this was the only round and then she swiped his clothes and made him chase after her.  In broad daylight, on a golf course.  Really, Kait?  C'mon - save that for your alone time tonight. 

They then go to dinner, talk about Eskimo Brothers and he gets MAD.  It's a good thing he can distract himself with some sweet sweet love or else Nick would be getting a pounding right now!  They quickly grab their date card and head up to the suite.

Morning after, who do we find waiting outside Shawn's room:

Oh, man.  It's time for Rock'em Sock'em Robots Round 2:

 

As you could've guessed Gosling was really mad, actually threatened Nick, and kicked him out of his room.  Don't know why Nick thought that would be a good idea, but he's not the brightest bulb on the tree.

 

Rose Ceremony

Thank goodness for DVR because I was so distracted by Kaitlyn's dress that I didn't hear a damn thing OG or her were saying. 

 

Here's a zoom because how can you not stare:



Can you see her belly button?!

 

Pause - Rewind - OK they're talking about her feelings and how she's making her decision about who's the 3rd Wheel that needs to go home.  Dang, how Harrison got through that convo without losing eye contact is amazing.

 

She starts crying but I guessed it before it happened -- Ben, you are the weakest link.  Goodbye.  She bids him farewell, comes back in to cheers the arch rivals - and then she leaves.  The cameras kept rolling and what followed was the most tense 20 seconds of TV I've seen since Caitlyn Jenner's special:

 

 

They literally were in this huge ballroom alone.  Not talking, not looking at each other - just drinking their champagne and standing there.  I thought for sure Shawn was going to throw punches, or that Nick would poke the bear and start some shit again -- but sadly none of that came to fruition.  What was the point of that?!  The home audience is well versed on the hate between these two - we don't all need to feel uncomfortable, especially if it's not going to lead up to anything!  Such a letdown.

 

To my surprise there was still an hour left after this, so we got right into "hometowns"!  First up: The Lithgows.  There were literally like 20 of them that came - he's got a handful of brothers, an emotional mother, a giggly father, at least a dozen sisters -- did they all have to come?  Non star players in this should stay home.  They met Kaitlyn, loved Kaitlyn, and Nick and his mom got a case of the feels:

 

 

She left and met up with Shawn.  He only had 4 people with him, including one sister who didn't have any eyebrows:

 

 

Even stink-face on the left is distracted by it.  Draw them in, tattoo them on, do something!  They loved Kaitlyn too, and Shawn finally told her those 3 magic words "I killed Nick" "I love you".  Aww.

 

Next week is Men Tell All (already!!) and then in 2 weeks is the finale!!!  This season has gone by fast and I can't wait to hear what the guys have to say next week!  We got a preview of Kaitlyn crying about having the 2 guys left love her and not knowing what to do:

 

What a problem to have ... (eyeroll).  Sounds like her diamond shoes are too tight.  Amirite?

See you next week!



7/7/15: The Bachelorette - wk 8

We're back after the 4th of July - hope you all had a safe holiday and took some time for reflection and appreciation of our founding fathers.  I was lucky to be able to spend the weekend in South Dakota (that's not a joke, it was by choice and I had a great time!) visiting some of the most beautiful areas in America! 

I'd tell you more about my vacation, but I know why you're all here so I'll get to business.  Last night we rejoined the cast and crew in Ireland.  If you remember we just left Cupcake on the cliffs crying his eyes out, and Kaitlyn jumped in the nearest chopper to get the hell out of there.  Now it's time for the first 1:1 date as the field is narrowed to 4.

Ben Brady gets the date and they canoe to some abandoned ruins and play hide and seek.  Again, I'm not joking.  Apparently the best way to bond and get to know someone on a deeper level is to run and hide from them.  I'm done trying to make sense of these dates, so I'll just go with it.  Hide over there!

Then we have a group date with Nick Lithgow, Shawn Gosling, and Joe Dimples.  Joe has fallen in love with Kaitlyn but she's not feeling it and gives him the ol' heave-ho.  It's funny to watch how quickly the mood changes for the dejected suitors -- and she can't understand why.  Uh, you just dumped him honey.  You shouldn't be surprised he's a little hurt/mad/sad.  You'll recall your feelings when Chris let you go last time?  Yes, see - remember that hurt and anger and just assume this dude is feeling something similar. 

His half-assed hug was the icing on the cake:

Ooh, feel that genuine love indifference

So we're left with Gosling and Lithgow.  Kaitlyn gives her performance feedback to both guys who are left (anyone else find it weird that she gives them tips and pointers after each group date?  Like "Nick, good job catching that ball today.  But just remember to not talk about us boning.  Great job overall."  Weird - this isn't a job review, no need to address their Wins and Opportunities).  No rose is handed out and she sends Nick back to the hotel so she can spend more time with Gosling.

This impromtu 1:1 presents itself as the perfect time for Kaitlyn to tell Shawn about her tryst with Nick.  She starts slow, squirms in her seat, he's started sweating, and then it comes.

"We had sex."

Me too, Tami!

His head doesn't explode - which is what I half expected to happen - and he just stares at her for a little bit.  Quietly.  No one is saying a thing.

Awkwardddd

After what feels 10 minutes of tense elevator music he says he needs to go the restroom to collect his thoughts and gather himself back together.  This is the perfect time to cutaway to the rest of the dudes having their nightly therapy sesh back at the hotel:

 

Nick is processing his feelings and unfortunately for Ben and Jared they're the only ears around for him to talk to.  He has a favorite phrase too: "Foregone conclusion".  I could have made that a drinking game.  Said it like 10 times.  It's probably a little sadistic of me to enjoy watching him be insecure but whatevs - it's really fun.  LOL

We keep cutting back and forth between the evening therapy and the bathroom door back at Kaitlyn & Shawn:

Not sure what the editors were going for here - there were no sounds bites of Shawn losing his shit or crying, we just had to keep watch on the door.  BTW this looks like it says "Cents" not "Gents".  Maybe 50 is in there to sing a little ditty?  haha

He finally resurfaces and says he'll man up and get past it.  Funnily enough he doesn't charge down to Kaitlyn's room after like he did every other night they were there - but he did go to Nick's room to have a little chat.

I'm getting ahead of myself but nothing much else happened last night.  They skipped the cocktail hour and she sent Jared home.  Woop-de-do.  The first Fantasy Suite date went to Nick and they "talked" all night and had some nosh in the morning when they woke up.  Once Nick gets back to his own room that's when Gosling pounces.  They start aruging and accusing things at each other (has anyone else ever heard of Eskimo Brothers before this episode??  I need to get over to Urban Dictionary in a minute) and then we go to black "To Be Continued".  I hope this goes to blows or else this is just a big letdown.

I would bet money that it will come down to Nick and Gosling in the final 2, but maybe Ben Brady will come from behind and take a spot.  I just hope that Jared isn't the next Bachelor .... but I do hope that his parting gift was a membership in Dollar Shave Club.

We finish the episode with Mackelmore bidding farewell to Britt to return to Nashville (how long was he in Cali for ???  Good grief, apparently he doesn't have a job to get back to?...).  Will they stay friends? Will their relationship stand the test of distance?  Does anyone care???  No, we don't.  I'm sure we'll see them at the end of the season - heaven forbid ABC let that fade.  That horse is dead but we're still gonna beat it (too morbid?  Nah)

Have a good rest of your week and see you next Tuesday!