I am a day late in my weekly recap, but had technical difficulties recording Monday's episode so had to watch it online last night.
Ok, I need to start by saying that my virtual relationship with JP is turning bipolar. One minute I am ready to throttle him; the next I find my cold, bitter heart starting to soften. I will explain further below.
We start by winging our way to New Zealand, which looked really similar to Montana (except for the amazing waterfalls). I don't know what I was expecting, but it was something a little more tropical and exotic, versus drizzly and northwoodsy. But I'm just talking here, I've never been to the land down under so wouldn't have the first clue what it's like; maybe they were there in the rainy season (cheaper travel costs, I'm sure - everyone has to cut corners sometimes, even ABC).
Andi gets the first 1:1 date where they ride in a boat and then wade through some cold water before just happening upon a lava-heated waterfall. I still don't think these two have had much conversation time, you can't really hear anyone over the noise of a boat engine, and the rest of the time they are making out. But JP is really into her, dropping ay yi yi! every two seconds. She gets a rose after getting drenched by a geyser in a very poorly placed dinner -- I think the producers are getting as bored as we are and want to play some practical jokes on these folks just for giggles.
Group date goes to everyone else but Clare (oh, joy) and they find themselves rolling down a hill in giant hamster balls filled with water. Sounds great! NOT. I think I'd end up vomiting all over JP - but he kinda has that coming so I wouldn't lose any sleep over it. Our Lothario somehow managed to get some lip time in these balls, so a few imaginary points to him this week for being that coordinated. We also find out in the closing credits that they had a sheep poop fight. I don't think there is anything I need to add to that. (WTF?!)
The group date cocktail hour got weird. Sharleen seems so uncomfortable in her own skin and how "inorganic" this process is that JP has no choice but to give her a face massage to calm her nerves:
Renee the House Therapist was there to cry with Cassandra about being a single mom, and Cassandra got sent home on her birthday. She didn't seem that sad, though - maybe it's because she's still only 21 (!) and realizes she has a whole lotta time to find a husband.
The last 1:1 date, as mentioned, goes to Clare. They go on a picnic, talk about their ocean frolicking again, and end up in his hotel room in sweat pants dancing. This is where my irritation with JP got swayed to the dark side once more - he looked so cute just chilling on the couch and dancing with Clare. It's getting obvious that these crazies are well-suited - so to hell with it, she has my vote!
Sidebar: To visit my points of irritation briefly, here is a small but comprehensive list -
1. JP doesn't know what a lot of common American/English phrases mean. Two examples:
A) "bolt" (figuratively to high-tail it out of a situation);
B) "frazzled" (out of sorts).
These women are constantly having to play the role of Rosetta Stone for him. Dude, you've lived in America for like 20 years - surely you've heard these phrases somewhere along the line?! GAH. Someone get him a pocket translator!
2. He likes to play with their hair and rub their faces (exhibit A above with Sharleen). For how much time it takes me to get my hair decent looking I really don't want someone mauling it around - especially if I was on a date on TV. Keep your hands to yourself, man (in more ways than one).
Back to the episode, sorry for my tangent. Rose Ceremony time! He managed to kiss just about all of the remaining women, except for Kat who told a really sad story about her alcoholic dad being passed out. Therapy time; quick - we need Renee STAT! It came down to Chelsea and Kat, and Chelsea's wide-eyed enthusiasm won him over (she's like a baby deer discovering the world for the first time - hate it). Bye bye, Kat - I'm not very sad to see you go. She had an odd shaped head and looked like Stephanie from Full House. "How rude!"
Next week we're going to the exotic land of Miami! Pounding the home turf of JP we'll see how these 6 chicks do with his family. We're teased with Sharleen still not knowing if she even likes him and are left on the edge of our seats hoping and praying she sends herself home (don't let me down, woman!)
P.S. - Tidy Cats (Ep 1) got their wish - since Kelly left and took Molly the Dog with her, it's time for our feline friends to get some air time:
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