1/21/14: The Bachelor - Ep 3

Hello hello!

We spent half of last night’s episode crossing our fingers that Chelsie would jump off a bridge.  Whoa, that sounds really dark – sorry, I guess I should lead with the background information: JP took Chelsie the “Science Educator” on a bungee jumping date.  She was scared, JP still looked bored/content (seriously, it’s like dealing with Zoolander’s ‘one look’), and the bungee guy seemed totally annoyed that he was dragged up there to watch a girl cry at the edge.  After an hour of our lives (and who knows how long of the bungee guy’s) she finally found her courage and took the leap.  Apparently that is some huge, deep metaphor for falling in love.  I don’t think love should be that terrifying or dangerous – but I’m afraid of heights and have risk-aversion so don’t take my word for it.

We got the stereotyping date out of the way when JP took 12 dames to the Galaxy field to play soccer.  Sharleen has the worst luck (or lack of sight) as she kept getting beaned in the head with the ball – but all was better when she awkwardly had a MO sesh with JP on the field for the rest of the girls to watch.  She’s so considerate, that one.  I think Sharleen is making it her personal quest to help JP learn more English as she keeps identifying the meaning of his statements and saying them back to him.  For example, last night JP says “ You are very elegant.”  Sharleen as usual hears that and feels the need to tell JP “That’s a compliment.”  Why yes, yes it is.  Well done, Sharleen – you are very smart. 

JP surprised the girls at the crack of dawn by breaking into their house to make them breakfast.  I think only 2 or 3 of them were actually excited to see him – even Molly the dog walked right past without saying hi or wagging her tail.  After a big Venezuelan breakfast they had a pool party in lieu of the cocktail party.  Clare spent her entire afternoon crying in the bathroom with Renee (who really needs to stop being the shoulder for all of these chicks to cry on – she’s not the den mother) because she hasn’t had any time with JP since their winter wonderland date and hadn’t heard from him.  I’m pretty sure she knew how the show works when she submitted her casting tape – yet she is dismayed to find out that he can’t text her every day after their date to reassure her he likes her still.  Can you say needy??  Look out for her, JP! 

One tweet had a great idea for helping the ladies who cry all the time:

That could be the parting gift as each chick is shoved into a limo!  Give Lucy and Christy theirs now, as they got the boot last night.  I was surprised that Lucy cried; I thought for sure she’d have something deep (aka hippy) to say about cosmic alignment as she twirled out of the house – instead she welled up, took her shoes off, and wandered to the reject car.

Next week we'll see we’ll see how good JP does at weeding out the really crazy from just the harmlessly delusional :)