Let's get started with some truth: I was watching "Sister Wives" and forgot to set the DVR until 6 minutes into the episode. I highly doubt I missed anything crucial, but if I did I beg your forgiveness. It won't happen again.
Group Date #1: Always a bridesmaid
First date any of these weirdos are going on with Nick and ABC decides to dress them up in bridal/bridesmaid gowns and pit them against each other in a photo shoot. There was the 80s Bride, the Rocker Bride, Eve Bride (??? I don't think Adam and Eve were married ...), and Beach Bride. Of course they put the most promiscuous girl this season (so far) in the bikini, in a pool. Corrine decided it would be in her best interest to free-boob in front of everyone else.
Yeah. Ivanna Humpalot got the rose, leaving a lot of us wondering what Reason Nick is here for.
1:1 Date: helis & yachts!
No time was wasted pulling out the primo date transportation with Danielle M. getting both a helicopter ride and a yachting afternoon.
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| Holy cow is right! A 2fer on the first date! |
I don't really know what they talked about or did before dinner, as we were too busy cutting back to the mansion so Liz could verbal diarrhea to Christen about her one night stand. While she was working herself into a tizzy, Nick and Danielle M. were yacht-tubbing Uncle Rico style. At dinner she was was a breath of fresh adult air compared to Corrine, talking about past relationships etc and Danielle M. got her rose for being sweet and vulnerable.
Group Date #2: Boulevard of Broken Dreams
For this next assortment of suitorettes Nick drags them to the Museum of Broken Relationships in Hollywood. WTF?! That's depressing. The cherry on top of that awkward ice cream sundae: Nick is part of the museum with his final rose and engagement ring for Caitlyn rotting away in a display case.
Nothing says "I've moved on" like bringing your current 20 girlfriends to see the gorgeous hunk of Neil Lane you picked out for the most recent of your failed almost-engagements. Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside!
This is not all they are subjected to, however. They are also enlisted to partake in the lame reenactments of break-ups this museum apparently hosts on a regular basis. Maybe I'm not that well-versed in the arts, but this feels like a stretch. We saw some randos that broke up in front of strangers (question: real couples or actors fine-tuning their craft? I will never know. And I honestly don't care that much) before the gals were forced to fake it with Nick.
Awkward: Nick avoiding Liz, Liz confronting Nick on stage, then Nick confronting Liz during cocktails. I think they need to move on, I'm tired of this story line. Thankfully Nick was too and dumped her during the cocktail portion of the group date.
We're left hanging for next week to see the fallout from the ONS as Nick comes clean with the rest of the house. I leave you with this picture of Corrine:
I think she's watching her dignity fly far, far away ...
See you next Monday!
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