6/1/14: The Bachelorette - Ep 3

Happy Sunday, y'all!  We check in a day earlier than usual as we have a 2 PART SPECIAL going this week!  Woo!!  We start with Andi in Santa Barbara at the Bacara resort (which my two favorite TV people, Giuliana and Bill, were at 2 weeks ago too!) where the gents will meet her for dates.  Let's get started!

First date: a 1:1 for Nick V. aka Lithgow.  We were beaten over the head with how "normal" her date with Nick V. was -- saying it about 20 times in the whole 3 minutes we actually saw of their date.  Going to the beach, going on a hike, then having dinner at a courthouse is super normal.  WE GET IT.  Move on to other small talk topics.  Andi was the interrupting cow (moo) on her date with Nick while (moo) he was talking about his past (moo) relationships -- ANDI: stop interrupting!  (moo).  They ended their date with a kiss that was all too loud - ish.  Tell the audio guy with ABC to turn their mics down during those scenes.

Next is a group date that has our unlucky guys once again humiliating themselves on television.  This time they are singing with Boyz II Men !!!  I will reiterate: for all you teens and 20 somethings I get that you don't know who these guys are, so just watch the cute, middle aged R&B singers perform.

Boys II Men circa 1996ish - such baby faces!

Bradley sounded like a Disney character singing a song about making love (creepy), Josh was nervous - though he is so cute he just needs to stand there and flash those pearly whites, and Andi turned the lyrics into a spoken-word poem.  Gotta say that I'd much prefer that over the dying cat parade of all the dudes collectively trying to sing that song.  OW!

My sentiments exactly

Final date is awarded to J.J., delivered to him in the hot tub, where he was soaking with 2 other dudes. Mr. Becky walked by the tv at this moment and said "Why are there 3 guys in a hot tub together?"  That's a fair question as we wonder who some of these gents are really here to see: Andi or Chris Harrison? (if you catch my drift...)

But let's go on our date with Maude (given the fabric choices for his pantaloons, I like this name for J.J. better).  Andi and Maude got made up to look like old people - complete with wigs and liver spots.  Apparently all old people to them have voices that sound like they've had a beer helmet filled with whiskey and a carton of Pall Malls every day for 50 years.  Andi felt closer to Maude by the end of their date and we got the warm fuzzies with roses all around.

Sadly we saw Ron leave tonight - he had a friend pass away unexpectedly and he chose to leave to head home and focus on his real life.  He was one of my favorites so far, I'm bummed to see him leave.

Let's go to the cocktail party.  Eric's soundbites really need to be better edited as my dark side is creeping in too much.  First episode he was talking about how his documentary will take him 2-3 yrs to complete, and my first thought was "well, that's what you think".  EVIL.  And then tonight Eric said to Andi he was really thankful for his date because, with Ron's departure, he was reminded how little time he has to get to know her.  And my thought to that was "you got that right, buddy!"  PURE EVIL.  I can't help it, and I feel bad, so need ABC's help to stop pitching those at me.

Cocktail Party highlights:
- J.J. and Josh M. confront Andrew at the party about how he was scamming on some restaurant hostess last week and got her phone number - scandalous!
- Nick V. had flowers delivered to Andi (is that possible?  I thought their money/credit cards were confiscated and put into storage like the President...) interrupting her chat with Eric

In addition to Ron we said goodbye to Brett and his mullet, and Bradley the opera singer.  No big losses here, and I chuckled that Bradley was crying.  Where is Sharleen when you need her??  BTW Andi looked lovely sporting the 2014 Pantone Color of the Year "Radiant Orchid":

Let's end tonight with some random thoughts:
- J.J.'s pajama pants are ultra mod - I'm pretty sure that fabric was used to cover davenports in the 60s
- Cody the Cupee Doll looks like Sean Lowe's ugly twin, including the shared love of deep v-neck tees and their ultra blonde eyebrows (why do pale brows bother me so much??  Dye those things, they are unsettling to look at)
- Tasos is capable of a full spectrum of emotions in the span of 10 seconds:

Sad Tasos ... or is it high Tasos?

Happy Tasos

Looking at Tasos' sad face gave me the munchies, so I will sign off to go grab some yogurt.  See you tomorrow night for part 2!