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| Hi buddy - lookin' good! |
I'm a happy camper but am WAY behind on the drama. No time to waste with stories about my time on the beach, by the ocean, under the palms .... and since Monday is only 4 days away we're going with the fast-forward, Cliffs' Notes version:
We resumed with last week's TBC - Taylor trying to convince Nick she isn't a bully. Nick's reaction: "I hear you, but I don't care."
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| Honey Badger don't give a fuck |
1. Former DCC Jasmine - no 1:1 date (still) and she's been crying since Chris Harrison told them there won't be a cocktail party 2 days ago
2. Nawleans Rachel - she's tired of playing second fiddle to Corrine and not getting any attention or alone time with Nick
3. Borning, Sleepy Danielle M. - see above, same feelings here
4. Multi Lingual Vanessa - again, see above; I sense a trend
5. Russian Nesting Doll Kristina - damn her childhood was rough, those were real emotions, real vulnerability - and I'm honestly surprised Nick didn't melt into a puddle on their date
6. Backstreet Danielle L. aka DLo - 2:1 date ... did not go well
7. MN Gal Whitney - the other component of the 2:1 ... see above (ps - how did I not know there was a hometown girl on this season?? go figure ...)
8. NICK - tears, tears, and more tears......again, and again, and again ...
Yeah, I hear you Benny. Basically he tells all the women that he doesn't know if he'll even win his own season....what the actual fuck?! Why are you on the show AGAIN then?? Why are we watching?! AHHHH!!!!!!
Record breaking farewells:
1. Taylor - leftover from last week
2. Cat Lady Josephine - Rose Ceremony casualty
3. Sharknado Alexis - Rose Ceremony casualty
4. Nose Ring Jami - Rose Ceremony casualty
5.Cheerleader Jasmine - she came unhinged, tried to (jokingly?) choke Nick on the group date 5 times, and got sent home (with a recommendation for some anger management classes)
6. MN Gal Whitney - see above, she didn't see it coming
7. DLo Danielle L. - see above, she also didn't see it coming ... esp after they left Whit on the beach and went to dinner alone together, where she said she's falling in L with him and he in turn dumped her ... talk about blindsided
8. Half of Bachelor Nation ... see #8 in first list to understand why. I think I can speak for us all that we're ready to see this season end and I'm kinda hoping that it results in Nick being left standing alone again. He's a manchild that clearly doesn't know what he wants, who he wants, and can't offer enough of what any woman past, present, or future wants. How else do you explain his single status after 4 SEASONS of being part of this franchise? Hint: it's you, pal - not them.
One new addition to our family:
1. Lorna - the lovely hotel rep there to make sure the ladies are taken care of (and prob to ensure the room doesn't get trashed). Corrine takes this caregiver too literally and dubs Lorna the Raquel of St. Thomas. Whatever they pay Lorna is not enough - double it.
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| She ain't your nanny, Corrine - chill |
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