7/7/15: The Bachelorette - wk 8

We're back after the 4th of July - hope you all had a safe holiday and took some time for reflection and appreciation of our founding fathers.  I was lucky to be able to spend the weekend in South Dakota (that's not a joke, it was by choice and I had a great time!) visiting some of the most beautiful areas in America! 

I'd tell you more about my vacation, but I know why you're all here so I'll get to business.  Last night we rejoined the cast and crew in Ireland.  If you remember we just left Cupcake on the cliffs crying his eyes out, and Kaitlyn jumped in the nearest chopper to get the hell out of there.  Now it's time for the first 1:1 date as the field is narrowed to 4.

Ben Brady gets the date and they canoe to some abandoned ruins and play hide and seek.  Again, I'm not joking.  Apparently the best way to bond and get to know someone on a deeper level is to run and hide from them.  I'm done trying to make sense of these dates, so I'll just go with it.  Hide over there!

Then we have a group date with Nick Lithgow, Shawn Gosling, and Joe Dimples.  Joe has fallen in love with Kaitlyn but she's not feeling it and gives him the ol' heave-ho.  It's funny to watch how quickly the mood changes for the dejected suitors -- and she can't understand why.  Uh, you just dumped him honey.  You shouldn't be surprised he's a little hurt/mad/sad.  You'll recall your feelings when Chris let you go last time?  Yes, see - remember that hurt and anger and just assume this dude is feeling something similar. 

His half-assed hug was the icing on the cake:

Ooh, feel that genuine love indifference

So we're left with Gosling and Lithgow.  Kaitlyn gives her performance feedback to both guys who are left (anyone else find it weird that she gives them tips and pointers after each group date?  Like "Nick, good job catching that ball today.  But just remember to not talk about us boning.  Great job overall."  Weird - this isn't a job review, no need to address their Wins and Opportunities).  No rose is handed out and she sends Nick back to the hotel so she can spend more time with Gosling.

This impromtu 1:1 presents itself as the perfect time for Kaitlyn to tell Shawn about her tryst with Nick.  She starts slow, squirms in her seat, he's started sweating, and then it comes.

"We had sex."

Me too, Tami!

His head doesn't explode - which is what I half expected to happen - and he just stares at her for a little bit.  Quietly.  No one is saying a thing.

Awkwardddd

After what feels 10 minutes of tense elevator music he says he needs to go the restroom to collect his thoughts and gather himself back together.  This is the perfect time to cutaway to the rest of the dudes having their nightly therapy sesh back at the hotel:

 

Nick is processing his feelings and unfortunately for Ben and Jared they're the only ears around for him to talk to.  He has a favorite phrase too: "Foregone conclusion".  I could have made that a drinking game.  Said it like 10 times.  It's probably a little sadistic of me to enjoy watching him be insecure but whatevs - it's really fun.  LOL

We keep cutting back and forth between the evening therapy and the bathroom door back at Kaitlyn & Shawn:

Not sure what the editors were going for here - there were no sounds bites of Shawn losing his shit or crying, we just had to keep watch on the door.  BTW this looks like it says "Cents" not "Gents".  Maybe 50 is in there to sing a little ditty?  haha

He finally resurfaces and says he'll man up and get past it.  Funnily enough he doesn't charge down to Kaitlyn's room after like he did every other night they were there - but he did go to Nick's room to have a little chat.

I'm getting ahead of myself but nothing much else happened last night.  They skipped the cocktail hour and she sent Jared home.  Woop-de-do.  The first Fantasy Suite date went to Nick and they "talked" all night and had some nosh in the morning when they woke up.  Once Nick gets back to his own room that's when Gosling pounces.  They start aruging and accusing things at each other (has anyone else ever heard of Eskimo Brothers before this episode??  I need to get over to Urban Dictionary in a minute) and then we go to black "To Be Continued".  I hope this goes to blows or else this is just a big letdown.

I would bet money that it will come down to Nick and Gosling in the final 2, but maybe Ben Brady will come from behind and take a spot.  I just hope that Jared isn't the next Bachelor .... but I do hope that his parting gift was a membership in Dollar Shave Club.

We finish the episode with Mackelmore bidding farewell to Britt to return to Nashville (how long was he in Cali for ???  Good grief, apparently he doesn't have a job to get back to?...).  Will they stay friends? Will their relationship stand the test of distance?  Does anyone care???  No, we don't.  I'm sure we'll see them at the end of the season - heaven forbid ABC let that fade.  That horse is dead but we're still gonna beat it (too morbid?  Nah)

Have a good rest of your week and see you next Tuesday!