Happy Tuesday! Dear
friends I apologize for the lack of update last week, I was dealing with some health
crap that had me out of comish for the early part of the week. However, while laid up I OF COURSE watched
last week’s episode – it’s nice to see that Lace had a brief moment of self-awareness
and left with a little bit of dignity. I
don’t remember who else departed, but I think it was Russian Roulette Shushanna
and Canadian Jami. Doesn’t matter,
really. Let’s get to this week.
We are greeted with OG bright and early to tell us the
Bachelor has defected and made a run for it while he can. Half kidding, he’s still on the show but he
did head out to Sin City; the bevy of beauties join him via PJ. So posh!
1:1 Date numero
uno
Ben takes JoJo out on the rooftop of their hotel to have her
practically get blown away by the incoming helicopter. Not sure how the producers didn’t know to
anchor the table and breakables – this isn’t their first heli rodeo. Bygones, they make out a little while the
rest of the gals watch from the hotel room and then climb aboard. I don’t really know what they did on their
ride as we cut away to the next date card.
We then rejoined B & J as they sit down to a relaxing convo via
candlelight. Word of the day:
moments. They had lots of them, talked
about lots of them. It should have been
a drinking game. Maybe their lackluster
dialog was due to the fact that Ben was more interested in trying to free JoJo’s
left wrist from shackles (thanks Kylie) of the infamous Cartier “Love” bracelet.
She threw some major side-eye at him while he fiddled with it –
hilarious! Get your own accessories,
Benji. Firework show above the skyline,
rose delivered.
Group Date
Ben drags the rest of them (minus Becca) to some muppet ventriloquist
show on the Strip. Here they are told
they are going to be the opening act that evening, so pick the worst costume
you can off the rack and try to find some talent in the next 2 hours! Olivia was unsuccessful and did the worst
cake surprise/showgirl dance anyone has ever seen. Train wreck – and cue the meltdown. She basically had turets the rest of the date
while in full on panic mode that this would send her home. Ben seemed to be losing patience with her
newfound insecurity – but maybe he was just afraid of drowning in massive tears
from her giant eyeballs. Some brown
haired girl got the rose (I think).
1:1 Date #2
Becca gets a special delivery of a wedding dress, gets
picked up by Elvis in a pink Cadillac, and joins Ben at the Little White
Chapel. He proposes they unite to join others in holy matrimony – surprise! He got ordained! I’d rather have Joey be my ministainer
then be married by these giggling goons, but that’s personal taste I guess. They squee and have a great time. Rose delivered.
Just as we think we’re going to head to the cocktail party
we get a curve ball when Harrison comes in and says Ben has requested a special
Two-on-One date with the twins!
Emily/Haley looked like she shit her pants, but they quickly pull
themselves together and head out. Lest
we forget, the Twins are from Las Vegas so it didn’t come as any surprise that
Ben brought them back home to mom’s house so he could meet her and try to
decide between the two. We were greeted
with about 10 dacshunds, PUPPIES!!! Sorry,
but my allegiance is almost always with the animals who make rare appearances
on the franchise than with any human involved (OG excluded – mrowr!) Ben tours each sister’s room, and visits with
mom. Emily threw Haley under the bus
regarding how many feels they each have for Ben, and that power move paid
off. We bid adieu to Haley and rejoin
the rest of the cast for the cocktail party.
 |
| Twinning! |
Rose Ceremony
Olivia is persona non grata with the remaining ladies due to
her incessant need for Ben’s attention and affirmation, and how pushy she is
every time to get it, but the girls Teflon.
I had to FF through most of the chattering because I hate the sound of all the kissing and
the fact that it slowly kills my brain cells.
The gist: Jubilee is still alienating herself from the group (bipolar
maybe?), Caila never stops smiling (even when frowning or throwing shade), and
Amanda is still talking in a baby voice.
In the end we said goodbye to Rachel and her over groomed eyebrows (but
that dress was fierce!) and Amber. Thank
goodness – if I had to listen to Amber and her insecurities one more time I was
going to barf.
Next week we’re going to Mexico! Jubilee gets into a heated moment with Ben
that I’m very much looking forward to, and I can’t wait to see how long Emily
(the last standing Twin) lasts.
See you then!
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