Happy Tuesday! You’re
in for a treat: a Bachelor double header!
I neglected you last week, so today it’s 2 for 1 Happy Hour J
Last Week
The crew went to Mexico to look for El Chapo. J/K – he was still busy hiding in the jungle
with Sean Penn when this was filmed.
They did go to Mexico, however, and learned to butcher some Spanish
language and some Spanish cuisine.
Ole! The first one-on-one date
had Ben knocking on the hotel room doors at some ungodly hour like 4am to drag Baby Voice Amanda out on the town for nothing other than a hot air balloon
ride !!! The first of the season! Of course she looked like she had been awake
for hours with makeup and hair did, whereas the rest of the ladies looked more
realistic:
Just kidding - here's what they really looked like:
The group date involved pairing off to cook a dish at a
popular Mexican restaurant, and Jubilee slayed!
Figuratively, of course – unlike Twin 2 Emily who had murder on her mind.
Watch your back ladies.
After, there was a group cocktail party where Jubilee had an epic tailspin – she
refused to hold Ben’s hand, cried about the connection she felt to him, and it
all culminated in her getting dumped.
Just as well, she had some attitude problems and lipstick issues. Girl needs to learn how to apply it; it always
seemed to cluster in the corners of her mouth.
Eww.
The second 1:1 date included Mexico City Fashion Week! This would have been a fun date to be on, no
lie. At first Ben and Amanda H. thought they just got be
backstage watching the prep, but then got thrown in feet first to actually be
in the show! Jealous, I admit. Amanda did a decent job for being an awkward
human, and Ben channeled his inner Zoolander to unleash Steel Blue on the
catwalk.
The Goblin King would have been proud (RIP).
Surprisingly, there was no commercial tie-in
for Zoolander 2 with this date – missed opportunity.
Rose ceremony where everyone threw Olivia under the
bus. She’s not that terrible of a
person, right? I mean, she’s only a little crazy thinking her and Ben have
some secret love language; she was only J/K’ing when she said Baby Voice Amanda
reminded her of a “Teen Mom” episode (hilarious!); and then there's her all-around confidence
arrogance. Ok, maybe she’s the
worst. She had a rose going in but during
some DT with Benji her name came up in a not-so-flattering light, so he pulled
her aside before doling out the roses.
We were left on a To Be Continued cliff hanger until this week …
This Week!
Let’s finish up the Rose Ceremony. Olivia charmed her way back into good graces,
so we were able to proceed. The unlucky
one to get sent home (remember we already said goodbye to Jubilee): Jennifer. Non-descript brunette. Not much air time. Also hated Olivia.
Ben toasted his “unique” group of women
(he can say that now that there is only 1 Twin left) and got the pleasure
of telling them they are on their way to the Bahamas next.
1:1 Date
The first one went to Caila,
the smiling Polynesian Princess. (TBH: I
don’t remember her ethnic heritage, but with her tan on she looks like she
could be Polynesian – maybe I’m right, maybe I’m wrong. Details.)
Leah (non-descript blonde
with strong eyebrow game – also hasn’t gotten much air time) was royally pissed
because she hasn’t even gotten one 1:1 date with him and yet this is Caila’s
second. Sucks to be her.
Ben took Caila deep sea fishing and then to
dinner. It seemed like all signs were pointing
to a break up at dinner, but then somehow Caila’s gentle dumping turned a 180
and she got a rose. Confused? Yes, so am I.
And so is Ben.
Group Date
All aboard to pig island!
Not kidding. There is an island
where wild pigs swim in the ocean and get fed hot dogs by tourists. Interesting.
The women all screamed like sharks and stingrays were lunging for them, which
got a little old. Ben played favorites
with Lauren B. and through the magic
of sight all the other girls saw it. He
got the feels for making the date uncomfortable, and it only got worse during
their happy hour. Leah decided her best strategy was to take LB down a peg or two and
say she’s two faced; no one else seemed to know what she was talking about as
Lauren sobbed on their shoulders and even Ben was left scratching his
head. He took the path of least
resistance and gave the rose to Baby
Voice Amanda.
Leah wasn’t done yet.
She got all gussied up and marched to Ben’s room for some alone
time. You’d think someone who was just
bitching about never getting him to herself would use this opportunity to the
fullest and make it amazing. That light
bulb was burnt out, I think, because she did the opposite and used that time to
further trash talk Lauren B. Ben was
having enough of that, and not enough of a spark with Leah, so sent her
home. No one was surprised but her. Sad face.
2-on-1 Date
The most loathed night for the contestants, but the most
anticipated night for the viewers! This
date had Olivia pitted against Twin 2 Emily. They braved what appeared to be a mild
tropical storm to sit on a beach and have wine.
Ben spent time alone with each, kissed Olivia, played with Emily’s hair –
and then it was time to hand out the rose.
Twist: Olivia got sent home. I
was surprised; I thought she had at least another 2 weeks left, but Ben’s
cray-dar went off and he left her up to her kankles in sand while Emily got the
rose!
Rose Ceremony
A super tan OG announced that the bachelor was exhausted and
decided to cancel the cocktail party. We
head straight to the rose ceremony.
To keep track, Caila Amanda, and Emily all have roses. There are 3 to hand out tonight, but 4 girls
to choose from. The non-chosen one: Lauren
H. She’s very sad, but I like to look at
the glass half full and say at least she got a few days in the Bahamas before
going home! Seems like a win to me!
No word on where we’re headed next, but we got some teasers
for the rest of the season. Drama,
drama, and more drama. We’re given hints
that Ben pulls a Mesnick in the 4th quarter and changes his mind on
who he proposes to. At least it looks
like he did it before the “After” special – we’ll see what happens.
And Sunday, in honor of St. Valentine’s Day, ABC is airing a
special on Jade and Tanner’s wedding to celebrate their 20th season
on air! They say it’s a surprise
wedding, but I read about it in People or TMZ last week – the cats out of the
bag. Still looks fun, so I’ll be tuning
in!
Catch you next week!
